


Untitled

by thatuncoolchick



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Spike is a softie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 23:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5763583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatuncoolchick/pseuds/thatuncoolchick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little thingy I wrote awhile back when I was still shipping Spike and Buffy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so this is basically a rewrite of that alkey scene with Spike and Buffy after she came back from Heaven.  
> This scene speaks to me and I always hated how it ended so I wrote a Spike POV with an alternate ending.   
> I wrote this nearly a year ago and just found it in my Memos on my phone so, it's probably crap but I'm posting it anyway.

Spike realizes, with a look of utter distain, that he's stuck in this damn alleyway. With Buffy. Well, it's not really like he minds that bit. But he let himself get stuck, AGAIN. And he's angry with himself, AGAIN.  
He turns back toward her, unsure of what to do now.  
"That's okay. I can be alone with you here." she says.  
"Thanks ever so." he replied sarcastically.  
"Right." she said blankly. Emotionlessly.  
"Buff?" he asks, betraying his confusion at her tone, "Slayer? You okay?"  
She looks at him and blinks. Again with the emotionlessness. But she at least looks like she's trying to pull herself together.  
"I'm here," she mumbles, "I'm good."  
He looks at her, really, truly, looks at her for the first time since she's been back, and he realizes that she's trying to convince herself of that, rather than him.  
"Buffy, if you're in-- if you're in pain...or if you need anything...if I can help you-"  
"You can't."  
Spike scoffs, "Well, I haven't been to a Hell Dimension just of late, but I know a thing or two about torment-"  
"I was happy."   
He's reeling from the matter-of-fact way that she had stated that. He can't wrap his mind around it. So he decides to tell her that, "I don't-"  
She cuts him off again, "Wherever I was...I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was alright. I KNEW it. Time didn't mean anything, nothing had form...but I was still ME, you know? And I was warm and I was loved. And I was finished. Complete. I don't understand about dimensions or theology or any of..." she trails off and grabs his hand gently, still staring blankly ahead, "but I think I was in Heaven."  
Spike stares at her, and takes some time to process what she's told him, but then she squeezes his hand and looks up at him sadly. "And now I'm not."  
He blinks, and he bloody well wishes he could think of something, ANYTHING, to say to comfort her. Then, just like that, he has it, "Buffy-'  
He was cut off, yet again, by her words, but he didn't have the heart to be irritated with her, not after everything she's shared with him already.  
"I was torn out of there. My friends...pulled me out. And everything here is bright, and hard, and...violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch...THIS is Hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that...knowing what I've lost..." she trails off, shivering violently with tears streaming down her face. She let's go of his hand, stands up and straightens her clothes. He looks up at her, completely speechless, and she turns from him, starts out of the alley.  
She pauses, not even turning around, and murmurs quietly, knowing his vamp hearing will pick it up, "They can never know," and then she does turn slightly to face him, gives him a pointed look, and raises her voice a bit, "Never."  
Spike nods once at her, and watches her begin to leave the alley. No, no, this is wrong. She can't leave like this!  
He springs up, uses his vamp speed to race after her, one arm curling around her and pulling her back, then pushing her, as gently as he can against the alley wall.  
"Before you grace me with your slayerness," Spike says, as he feels her body tense. He shook his head a bit, she really, really, wasn't herself. His old slayer would have had a stake at his heart already, even though he knew she wouldn't really use it. He shook his head again, trying to clear his thoughts, "You are not alone, Buffy. You hear me? You may not want the Scoobs to know, but you told ME for a reason," he reached one hand up to cup her face, expecting her to flinch away, but when she didn't, a shiver ran up his spine, "I know now, and I can't un-know it. And don't look at me like that, unlike your lot, I know how to keep a secret." Spike looked at her, God, she was beautiful. "Your secret's safe with me, pet. But, if you ever want to talk some more, I'm here for you. I love you, Buffy. I've said it before and I'll say it a million times over. I will ALWAYS be here for you, however you need me." Spike leaned in and placed a light kiss on her lips, he just couldn't resist, he needed her just as much as he knew she needed him. But once he pulled back, he let go of her and stepped away, giving her some space. "I know you felt happy there, but you can find happiness here too, and, I know that one day you'll eventually get back there. But, it's not your time yet. I don't..." Spike paused, reaching his hand back up to her face, slowly, gently, he felt like he needed to anchor himself, hold onto this moment as long as he could, "I wasn't included on their plans to bring you back. I would have stopped them, if I knew...not that I didn't want you back too, I just...it was wrong, and dangerous. Willow could have died, or brought some scary, demon-y type of you back. But the very fact that it worked..." his thumb moved gently along her cheek, "well, that tells me something. You were meant to come back, Buffy, the world needed you back."  
Buffy leaned into his touch ever so gently, it felt...well, if she was honest with herself, his touch reminded her of home. Even though his skin was cold, it made her tingle and feel warm, like when she was in Heaven. "They needed me back..." she whispered.  
He nodded gently. "They're so utterly lost without you, Buff," she pulled him back against her again, and at first he was shocked, but then...the look in her eyes. He wanted to melt into her, bathe in her. And not in the evil, vampy kind of way either. "I was pretty lost without you, too. It always felt wrong, you being gone. I could feel it in my gut, and my heart- however old and dried up it is- ached for you every day."  
"Thank you." she said, both her hands raising from his forearms to cup his face, looking into his eyes.  
"For what, Buff?"  
She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then smiled at him gently, "for sticking around, for watching over all of them for me, for..." she looked down, away from his piercing gaze, but he wasn't having any of that, and his hand on her cheek moved to pull her chin up, bringing her gaze up to him once more. She stared at him for a moment. "For listening to me. For not letting me go...and for giving me hope."  
He didn't need to ask what kind of hope she was talking about, he read the meaning in her voice just fine. He smiled at her, well, maybe the correct term was beamed. He used his hand on her chin to pull her a bit closer and leaned in, slowly, as if giving her a chance to back out. But really, she could have backed out and also handed his ass to him on a wooden stake by now if she really wanted to. She leaned in more, closing the distance as their lips met, and he smiled and sighed against her lips. After a few moments, he pulled his lips from hers and rested his forehead against hers.  
"You're welcome," he whispered. They stayed like that, lost in each other, for a long while, before finally, the spell was broken by Buffy sniffing the air and then pulling away from him slightly.  
"Uh, Spike, as much as I hate to interrupt our little moment, but, I think the sun shifted, and you're kinda smoking right now."  
His eyes popped open, pulling back from her and rushing back into the safety of the shade. He was so lost in her, so caught up in everything that was Buffy, that he hadn't even felt himself burning. He sighed, but then he relaxed as she moved over to wrap her arms around his neck. He smiled, fixing his gaze on her.  
"Thanks, luv. Always with the life saving bit, huh? You never take a break."  
"Oh, I'm sorry, would you rather I have kept letting you go all barbecue-y? Because that can be arranged, you-" he cut her off with a kiss, sighing against her lips. He kissed her for a moment, then pulled back a bit, resting his forehead against hers again.  
"Did you miss the thanking you part? The rest was just teasing, luv."  
"I know. And you're welcome. I was only teasing too, you know. I'd never let you burn like that. I hope you-" he kissed her again, effectively cutting her off once more.  
"I know, Buff. I know."


End file.
